“Henrik, you’re rubbish!”

Gordon Ramsay is one of the meanest people I have ever seen and heard. Maybe that’s what makes his shows such good TV. Then again, maybe it’s because he scares me on a much deeper level.
You see, whenever somebody screws up in Hell’s Kitchen, for example, my first instinct is to be baffled by their incompetence. They’re supposed to be chefs, right? But then I start thinking; what if I were tested on my supposedly perfect skills at doing what I do? On television? Yikes.
“Henrik! Come here. Listen to me. I ordered an adverbial modifier; what the hell is this? And why on earth did you use a non-deponent verb form over there? Oh, dear lord. You’re rubbish!”
Honestly, I haven’t been tested on that stuff in 20 years. It sort of just works anyway, which is probably the way it is for the chefs. They’re not actually rubbish. They have just done a certain thing the same way for a long time, and nobody has asked them to explain exactly what they do, and why.
I for one thank my lucky star that my flaws aren’t exposed, to me and the world, on national TV. Those chefs are heroes. Pitiful, but heroes.