The benevolent sexist

The man coming down the escalator today, against the current, was a little slow-moving. “Wrong way,” he apologised. He was making very little headway and risked falling over, so I stretched out my hand, he took it and I heroically steered him to safety.
Whenever something like this happens I think of my gymnastics coaching days, when my most crucial responsibility was to catch falling people. It’s a split-second thing, so your catch reflex has to be automatic. You also have to get right in there and press your body against the falling person’s, catching them in a tight hug, for it to have any effect. With fully extended arms, you can barely stop a milk carton from hitting the ground, let alone a human being.
I have long been wary of unintentionally performing this in public – automatically catching people who fall on escalators, public transport or just on the street. I know the reflex still works because it kicks in when one of my kids trips. But with strangers it becomes awkward. I’m particularly nervous about catching women. Especially young women. After the recent coining of the term “benevolent sexism,” a lot of formerly chivalrous behavior from men is coming under scrutiny. Apparently, much of what used to be considered common courtesy can now be seen as sneaky ways for bad men to harrass women. With politeness and good manners.
So sadly, I probably would have hesitated to offer my hand at that escalator if the slow-moving person had been a woman. If it had been a pretty teenage girl, I definitely wouldn’t have. But had she tripped and fallen towards me, I probably would have instinctively caught her in a great big bear hug.
And been arrested.